I Sooo Love Being a Blackbird

                                  I sooo Love Being a Blackbird

How I wish I was a bird, life would be so simpler. Freedom to get up and go whenever I felt like it. No worries about money or what to wear. If I was a blackbird I would always be a Blackbird, no need to go changing my clothes to look different as we humans do.

All I’d have to do is preen my feathers every now and then and have the occasional bath and sure even then it’s only a casual splashing of water in a pool of water. No need to worry about the temperature or if there’s enough water in the immersion or how much it’s going to cost me.

Food, food is always there, I just have to cock my head and listen to my food coming along through the earth and walah, a couple of jabs at the earth and a more succulent meal you couldn’t ask for.

In winter time when the ground is  too tough, I just make myself look extra attractive, puff myself up and hang out by the human houses, for bread crumbs or if I look really good and give them the eye they’ll take pity on me and leave me out some fat to nibble on, awh sure God love the humans, they are such suckers. Jasus sure we were feeding ourselves, long before they came along with their gardens and civility.

I’m an opportunist as well and when I swoop over a garden bush with my high pitched screech  and look like I’m about to collide with the garden wall, its actually a stunt of mine to see what’s available down below. If the house cat is there, my stunt will make him jump out of his skin. If it’s the stupid dog, well I know it will have little effect on him as he’s usually too tired after his night duty to bother looking up.

In winter time I’ll always drop by the cats dish outside, especially if they are getting warm milk and bread, awh my favourite! I’ll wait ‘till they’ve stuffed themselves and then snuggled up together so they get so comfortable and warm there’s no way they are going to get up and chase me away.

In the Spring and Summer, I’m all the humans favourite singer, even amongst my own feathered friends, they all envy my beautiful singing.

Sure didn’t the humans most famous group The Beatles make a song about me? And called it Blackbird, not exactly original is it and they are meant to be smarter than us. It would be like me singing a song about them and calling it Human, Christ, how novel would that be? can’t imagine any other Blackbird wanting to know where he could get a copy of it!

When Spring is here life as a Blackbird is so simple, I just have to look good and as you all know, I look good all the time! I’ll sing a few of my hits from the top of bushes or telephone wires. What was that dreary Leonard Cohen moan called? Oh yeh, Bird on a Wire, what an insult to have him singing about a bird! If I was a human and listening to him, I’d have fallen off the fucken wire!

After a few feathery displays, a couple of bars of my favourite tunes and there she’ll be. Standing close by and looking not interested but I’ll know she is or why the hell else would she be standing there?

 Unlike humans that are constantly changing their clothes and their appearance she’ll look like all female Blackbirds, there’ll be no mistaking that she’s a Blackbird and the Blackbird Baby for me. She won’t have done herself up like a peacock to confuse me who she is, her feathers will be slighly lighter in colour than mine and that’s how she always looks.

I don’t know how the male humans cope at all. The female can have her hair tied back, no make up on, wear dark blue jeans one day  and then the next day she’ll show up at the least expected place, her hair out, make up on, wearing skin tight sexy white jeans and say, Hi Ruairí!

How is the poor fucker meant to know it’s Norma from his Writing class? It would be like me turning up on a beach in the middle of Summer and meeting herself on her way down for a paddle.

I sooo Love being a Blackbird